


Bathbombing

by nerdqueenenterprise



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Bubble Bath, Fluff and Humor, M/M, also rent references, i wrote this fic so obviously there are rent references duh, really bad nsfw jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 02:30:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18043760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdqueenenterprise/pseuds/nerdqueenenterprise
Summary: Paul buys a glitter bathbomb in preparation for Pride. Nobody told Hugh that a romantic bath with Paul would end up like this.





	Bathbombing

Hugh runs the tips of his fingers over Paul’s knuckles again, and this time it makes Paul laugh and knock his hand away.

“Come on. Seriously?”

“Hey!” Hugh snatches Paul’s hand again and this time he lays kisses over Paul’s knuckles. “Your skin is really soft and I like it. Leave me be.”

“You just need to take better care of your own skin so you can fondle yourself instead of me.”

“I’m not fondling.”

“So are.”

“And also I take alright care of my skin.” Hugh pouts and holds Paul’s hand hostage.

“Allow me to do a makeover of your entire skincare products and you’re allowed to continue fondling my hand.”

Hugh presses his face into Paul’s palm and rubs his stubble all over it and in this moment Paul would gladly die if it meant never having to let go of this.

“Makeover me. Make me over. Whatever.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

So there Paul is, four days later, sniffing his way through as many lotions and other care products as he can to find some that Hugh might actually like, already happily anticipating Hugh’s response. He’s going mostly with little test tubs so they can actually try as many as possible and find something nice for Hugh, because as much as he’s doing this to get a rise out of Hugh, he’s also doing it out of love.

Also there’s a shelf of bath bombs right in the next aisle. That’s very distracting. How long has it been since Paul’s had a proper bath with a bath bomb and some candles and relaxing music? Discovery has communal baths, like all long-range starships, but he doesn’t really like those. But now they’re on leave, their rented apartment has a really nice bathtub, and…

And there’s a bath bomb called ’Queer Glee’ and Paul is going to immediately purchase every last one. It’s glittery and smells slightly fruity and according to the label it’ll be very glittery and make lots and lots of foam.

So Paul doesn’t feel the least bit bad when he gets six of them. And three others, completely by accident.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

He leaves the box with the bath bombs on the kitchen island and checks his mails instead because putting away your shopping is for boring people. However, herding cats away from empty boxes is easier than herding Hugh away from full boxes, so only a minute after Paul has started looking at his mails, Hugh is lifting the lid off the box and peeks inside.

“What are these?”

“Bath bombs.”

Hugh takes one out and palms it. “Didn’t you want to get lotion or something?”

“I did that, too, but I also got bath bombs. They’re called ’Queer Glee’.”

Hugh snorts. Paul puts his PADD aside again and walks over.

“We’re gonna use one, together, before we go to Pride on Sunday.”

“I mean… sure?” Hugh gently puts the bomb back and inspects the glitter on his hand. “What exactly do you do with them though?”

“You toss them into the water and they make foam and nice smells and glitter. It’s going to be great.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hugh is holding the bath bomb like it’s an actual bomb. “Do I just… put it in?”

Paul sighs and leans against his partner. So far, despite the candles and the warm bathroom and the prepared fluffy towels and hot chocolate and hot water, the atmosphere isn’t really romantic yet, which is kinda what he had been going for.

“Yes. Just put it in. It’s like sex. Be gentle, or you’re gonna splash the water everywhere.”

“… So if I’m not gentle when penetrating during sex my partner will pee themselves?”

“Jesus, Hugh.” Paul drops his face against Hugh’s shoulder and tries not to smile. Why did he have to find the most ridiculous man possible and fall in love with him?

There’s a little _sploosh_ and then the bath bomb starts foaming like crazy. Paul peeks over Hugh’s shoulder to watch.

“Ooh, that’s pretty! Now I really want to get in there,” Hugh whispers.

Paul snickers quietly.

Once the bomb has mostly dissolved, they do step in, carefully not to slip, and get comfy at opposite ends of the tub with their legs tangled in the middle. It takes some arranging and some accidental almost-kicking each other in places where they really don’t want to be kicked, but finally they’re comfortable. Paul wraps his hand around Hugh’s left calf and leans back, smiling.

“It smells great,” Hugh mutters, already relaxing. “And the texture is so nice.”

“Good for your skin, too.” Paul nudges him in the hip with his big toe, watching Hugh smile lazily. “You are going to wear that glittery jacket tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“Oh, definitely. And shorts. And no shirt, probably. The weather forecast said that it’s going to be hot enough to melt cast-iron dildos.”

Paul snorts and then actually laughs. “Did the weather forecast really say that?”

“Yes,” Hugh says.

“Hot enough to melt cast-iron dildos?”

“Mhm.”

“That sounds uncomfortable. I wouldn’t want any bit of… that.”

“Game of Thrones, but it’s the iron dildo instead of the iron… chair. Thing. Whatever.”

Paul bursts out laughing, making the water ripple and splash around him. Hugh joins in, actually making some water splash over the side of the tub while he shakes with laughter.

“I still can’t - hah - believe you thought it was an actual medieval history show,” Paul manages, blinking his tears away.

“You didn’t tell me! How was I supposed to know!”

“Maybe the part where it was all about incest and rape and that!”

Hugh kicks Paul, making the water splash again. “Shut up and leave me be. I didn’t knowwww.”

Paul giggles again before leaning back against the tub. “Oh, the look on your face.”

“Shut up.”

“So good.”

“Don’t be mean to me before Pride.”

They both settle down and enjoy the hot water and swirling foam and glitter and the few points where their skin touches.

Paul is almost asleep by the time Hugh stirs enough to draw attention.

“You wanna watch Rent before bed?” he asks, voice slurred with relaxation.

“You just want to make me cry.”

“No, I want to sing along with you.”

“Aww.” Paul starts rubbing circles into Hugh’s calf. “We could do that, then. But it’s sad.”

“What? No, it’s happy. It’s hopeful.”

“Angel literally dies but okay.”

“It’s still hopeful. And sad. But also hopeful. And also you look kinda cute when you cry.”

“Hugh Culber, you’re a big meanie.”

Hugh chuckles. “Is that especially bad since you got us such a nice bath bomb?”

“Yes. I require reparations. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred kisses, to be exact.”

“Let’s get out of the water then, so I can get started.”

They both get up at the same time and almost bump together, holding on to each other in reflex. The bath mat is too small for them both to stand on it, so they immediately shuffle closer. Hugh wraps his arms around Paul and draws him into a slow kiss.

“Five hundred twenty five thousand five hundred and ninety-nine,” he whispers into Paul’s ear afterwards.

Paul grins and promptly gets another kiss.

They step apart once their feet are dry enough to stand on the tiles. Suddenly Hugh laughs.

“Look at you, you’re all glittery!”

Paul looks down on himself and… yep, glitter everywhere. It’s especially sticking to his body hair, making him sparkle in the dim light of the candles.

“There’s glitter in my pubes.” He looks up again and grins at Hugh.

“You’re a unicorn now. A little gay unicorn.”

“A unicorn?” Paul grins and steps closer to Hugh again, sweetly putting his hands on Hugh’s shoulders. “Doesn’t that mean I’m an endangered species?”

“The last of your kind, even.”

Paul draws him in. “Then you need to have sex with me, to save my species.”

As expected, Hugh bursts out laughing and steps back. “What?!”

“I need to distribute my genetic material to ensure my species’ survival.”

“Spread your genetic - oh my god!”

“All over your body, ideally. And into every orifi-”

“No!!”

Paul forces Hugh back until he hits the wall, coming so close that they’re touching. He keeps watching Hugh while he runs a hand down his own body and between his legs. “For the survival of my species.”

Hugh shakes his head. “Oh my god. Can we at least do all that… spreading of genetic material in the bedroom or something?”

“Actually, my people always mate against the bathroom wall.”

“No.” Hugh gives him a firm push and dissolves into giggles again. “Oh god, you’re awful, Paul.”

“I love you too. And you still owe me five hundred twenty-five thousand five hundred and ninety-eight kisses to go along with that mating.”

“Dry yourself off, my dear unicorn, and I’ll see about that.”

 

 

 

 

The glitter ends up staying mostly in the towel, and after very enthusiastically making sure Paul’s species won’t die out or something, Paul is practically glitter-free. That doesn’t stop him from still requesting all those kisses though.

**Author's Note:**

> hey all, thank you for reading! please leave me a comment if you liked this, it keeps me writing (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✲ﾟ*｡⋆


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